I'm super bummed. I was so excited. I shaved and EVERYTHING (it's winter, I am cold and I don't care so.... ). I found the cute undies and everything.

The weather was just awful. Winter Storm Warning, 7-8" expected, ice and sleet everywhere. Gage said we should reschedule and I was like, noooooooo...

Him: I don't want to visit you in the hospital.
Me: But you are working (2nd job, not on at the firehouse this weekend). So if I got into an accident at least you wouldn't have to come and rescue me.
Him: But I would anyway.
Me: *Panties Drop*

Fuck fuck fucking muthafuca weather! grrr.

I never have weekends off from work. I never have TWO days in a row off. Only if I have school. If I have class. This weekend I don't. It's rare. It's precious. It's now... wasted.

And things have progressed with Gage. They have progressed... a lot.

Earlier this week I was in a tizzy over him

You go girl!!!

Ugh I finally bundled up to brave the cold and my car won't start!!! I'm back inside waiting for the tow truck to give my car a jump. Then I will drive it around for a long time to recharge the battery. All I wanna do is go back to bed!!!

Last week I went to Menards to look at paint colors and figure out how to start this project. I bought this deglossing cleaner that is suppose to key glossy surfaces. I haven't used it bc the dresser had clothes in it and stuff on it and I had to find a place for that stuff.

So tonight I ripped a moving box to make a flat surface to protect the carpet. I emptied and cleared off the dresser and dragged it out here. So far I have cleaned the dresser itself and next I have to do the drawers.

After that I still might have to lightly sand it, which I was trying to avoid. Without a vacuum cleaner, getting sawdust on my carpet is a problem I can't fix. Maybe I can do that outside, though its pretty warm this weekend.

Next step has to wait for payday, I need to buy some oil based primer and a brush to paint the primer on it.

Right now I am waiting for the dresser to dry.

So that is my progress on this little project. I am going to paint this a BRIGHT green. It will be the loudest piece of furniture I own.

I talk (technically I write) about my health a lot these days when I am on the Internet.

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There's something about that ... it cracks me up.

This weekend I will be wearing my workout clothes as I run errands and enjoy my time off. That is so when I have that hour free I can pop over to the gym, a once hated land which is now a place where I feel comfortable and accomplished and dare I say it? Even sexy.

When I go there I will be adding more weight and more reps to the ab machines, and I will be holding the plank position even longer. It will be hard, but it's a good kind of hard.

My body may be fat and considered unattractive but dammit I am amazed by it. I lift weights and I gain muscle! I speed on the bike and I gain endurance. Imagine that!

intenet at home -- does it work?

OMG!!!

Harry and Geri

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

I love this! I want it! I need to find it and buy it and get it framed!!

I was doing the Myers Briggs thingie and this page came up as describing me. Boy, does it!

I just want to keep the info where I can find it.

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I got this from angelamermaid. Great idea!

This is me, celebrating getting my Masters degree with
a chocolate martini, in Jan 2011.



Almost 13 years ago I took the plunge and joined LiveJournal. A former friend used to forward me ilwitchgrrl's posts and snicker at her (she was mean and that's why we are not friends any more). I liked reading them and I liked the idea of having a blog, so I signed up.

I liked being "anonymous". I am mouthy and I hated to censor myself (like I now do on Facebook). I liked that I was just one random voice in this big blue sea. No one knew who I was. I wrote for myself. My first posts were dealing with the suicide of my friend John. Since then I have primarily used my LJ to work out (through the process of writing) emotions, thoughts, ideas, plans, goals, etc. I bitch and whine and complain. I work out my own thoughts in the process. I wrestle with difficult feelings and situations. I vent. I have lost friends who did not understand that I do all that here so that I don't do it all out there.

It used to be that LJ was the place I came when the pressure of trying to seem like I had my shit together got too hard for me. Then I was bitch-slapped by life so hard that I gave up my attempts to even pretend I had my shit together. So now I know, and now everyone knows, that I do not have my shit together, but that I am always struggling to get my shit together.

The good thing about this is that I used to judge people a lot more than I do now. There are a few areas of life I know a lot about and I am happy to share advice, information, etc. But I am in no position to be telling anybody how to live. That said, I have a much lower tolerance for crazy than I used to. Interesting, I like. Rampant personality disorder, I do not like. Struggling, I understand. Being a dumbass, hard for me to deal with. Entitlement? GTFO.

I have been blessed to meet people on LJ who have been with me through thick and thin. Who have always been interested in what I write, in how I feel, in my struggles, in my thoughts and opinions and issues. I have met many of these people. I have found at least one job, I have dated, I have met in person, I have done naughty things over the internet that would get me into bad trouble, with these people. I do consider these people friends, and not "just online friends".

So I'm staying with LJ, though many have departed. To celebrate 10 years and more, I'm opening up for a friending frenzy. I'm always tickled and sometimes amused by the connections made by LJ friends with each other. Let's see what new connections and what new friends can be made. Tell your friends!

There are many ways of making friends. This is what I'm going with:

Me:
* A 44 year old single woman living in Chicago.
* Right now I live with my mom and my stepfather and 2 pitbulls in the family home that my grandfather bought when I was just a baby. I have been trying to move out forever. I think this time is going to be it (!!!!)
* I am a librarian. I work in downtown Chicago. I do not work in a library, though I have. I am a digital librarian and I work with digital collections and publishing. I am interested in digitization, theological libraries, and metadata.
* I am a panentheist, though I usually identify as Pagan. I am also an oblate at a Benedictine monastery. I am a mystic.
* I have a BA in Anthropology/Archaeology, Religious Studies, and Museum Studies. I know a lot about the Bible. I know more about Jesus than you could possibly believe.
* I am very straight and very monogamous. I have a lot of friends who are gay, bi, polyamorous, transgendered, furry, kinky, and all kinds of permutations. I like interesting people. Sometimes I have experimented. Then I report back.
* Other things I love: architecture, letterboxing, scrapbooking, food, cooking, road trips, geeky stuff like Star Wars, watching TV, going to movies, making stuff, exploring.
* I don't post daily but I try to post every week or two. I am wordy and sometimes I don't have time to really write like I used to.

Stuff I write about these days:
- Financial issues. I took a class, swallowed the Kool Aid, and now I am determined to recover from the last few years.
- Health issues. I hit 40 and everything started breaking!
- My One Little Word for 2013 -- NURTURE, and how I am manifesting it in my life.
- On living a conventional life, or not.

People who know me on LJ have said that I am an interesting person with an alternate view of the universe that they like to read about. I have also been blessed to hear that I have inspired others who are going through a hard time because no matter what happens or how bad it gets, I keep on going.

People who know me IRL have one word they use for me. (Not that word.) (ok, maybe sometimes.)
FUN. I bring the fun. I hear that all the time.

You:
* Have stories to tell.
* Are honest about who you are. I don't care if you fudge the numbers on your height or weight or age a bit, just don't create a false persona.
* Post at least semi-regularly. I don't have a magic formula that I require my friends to adhere to, I just like to friend journals that feel active. I will not friend a blank journal or one last updated in 2011. LJ friendship is a two-way street.

So you know who you are dealing with:


Letterboxing in Milwaukee with my pal Amelia - aaaaayyyy!



With my bestie on a 40th birthday trip. Yes, tiara. She bought it for me.


Poster presentation at the student symposium - my last assignment
before graduation.

Feel free to say hello and point me to your FF post if you choose to have one. Introduce yourself. My very fun and interesting friends will be reading. :-)

Paying for things by swiping a card! Credit or debit, that *swipe swipe swipe* disconnects me from my money. My real, actual money. I spend more when I swipe. I am more careless about small amounts - $3 here, $5 there. My bank account is harder to deal with, because my register is a long list of small transactions. I will $5 myself to death with a card.

Now, I pay cash. I have an envelope system so cash is not (usually) lying around loose in a pocket to just be spent unthinkingly. It makes a difference to pay cash for things, and to track my spending. I make the same money, but it's like I got a raise, because I found an extra $200 a month in there. My money works harder. It doesn't just laze around in my wallet or my bank account. Every dollar has a name and a job, and mostly the spending is scheduled.

A wise man told me this - me and money are not equal partners. It is not an equal relationship. One of us always leads and one always has to follow. I pay cash and now I am the one leading my money and telling it what to do. Before, my money was leading me.